It’s a part of life whether we’re ready or not, we’ll have to embrace our new reality cause it’s all we’ve got. Late teens and early 20’s is such a transitional part of life; where things change and you grow, beginning to understand the definition of strife.
To be honest I didn’t think it would be this hard, I mean nobody said it would be easy but it’s definitely not something to disregard. In my case independence is the struggle, not by choice though, I’m trapped in an impenetrable bubble.
Now that I’m trying to become the butterfly I’ve always wanted to be, I’m restrained by my peers and forced to remain a small caterpillar for all to see. I know I shouldn’t compare but I see others my age and long for what they have; trust, freedom and respect, now how’s that fair.
You see it’s not but the truth is life just isn’t, it’s a tangled messy knot. I keep reminding myself that everyone’s timeline differs, I’m starting to learn who I am and what I like as well as some of my triggers.
It’s been pretty emotionally and mentally draining but don’t forget there’s always a silver lining. It’s difficult when you realize that you have to start making decisions for your own life, and despite wanting the upmost approval from everyone around, you should be searching for something more profound.
I’m the biggest people pleaser that you will ever meet but I’ve come to realize, that only ends in defeat. When you feel like everything you do must be perfect because you are the example, it’ll cause you to live with regret because your actions won’t always be correct. We’re human, perfectly imperfect, we make mistakes and do things that are deemed incorrect.
It doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting to do something for yourself for a change, learn to own up to your decisions and stop feeling like you’re always on stage. I know it may seem like things will never get better, that these wounds will never heal because you’re afraid to upset him or her.
But the only true escape is to voice how you feel because no matter what, it’s real and everyone should give themselves the opportunity to be in control of their own highlight reel.
“Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.”